Sometimes when i am lying in my bed at night, the moon shines outside, and my dogs bark at another dog running along the beach, your face comes to my mind. Big almond-shaped dark brown eyes, and a shy, attracting and a little bit self-conscious smile which brings your full lips to flower.
In such moments i do miss you. I feel my heart beat, and i feel so alive that i hug you tight in my thoughts. A deep strong hug, only for you. Because you are still in my heart.
Some years have passed. Some years, and we still hold tight our story. We kept it hidden, but still trying to keep it alive. I always found you very beautiful. I always could see it, even when you were far away, when you left me. And at this time i felt beautiful too.
I often missed you. You hurted me, you lied to me. I cursed you. But i also remembered how you were sleeping beside of me. A shy deer looking for a refuge, for some warmth and empathy, whispering a shy „i love you“, as if these were magic words which you had to touch gently.
We met some day as if we had bumped into each other. But then we narrowly missed. Life called you, duties which were stronger than you. Maybe you tried to escape from me. You left me with my memories. Memories of an attractive young man, who was not mature enough at that time. Dreams became foams.
You never left my heart. And we always found each other again, we never really lost each other. What is it which is between us, which never allows us to let the other go? Which is this tape which ties us up?
To remember you and think of you is a feeling of going home. It’s a cosy feeling as if i were dancing, weightless, floating over a parquet which is made only for us. I know, i was long time thinking that i have to stop loving you. But it was impossible. And i stopped to find an explanation for that.
And here you are again. You were the most wonderful memory. You were my big love. And you are back, wherever you are.
Destiny is not in your hands, but love is! You can fall in love with anyone, that’s your choice, what will happen next is something that you can’t control. Love is your heart decision, while being together or not, is determined by a lot of external factors including families of you both, including the circumstances and many other things that are responsible for breaking a couple apart…!!!! But you can’t blame love for it? It’s the same like way . . Why do we live if we have to die one day? But eventually, it’s what we have to do, because that is a choice, that is a niccesity,we have to live for our families, our love ones , and the one who love us, but death is not our choice, it’s in the hands of extenal factors which can’t be chosen or controlled. So live while you can and don’t blame the destiny.
Lastly, sometimes love turns to beautiful marriages and sometimes, it turns into lifelong lessons. If your love didn’t turn into marriage always think that you are not ready yet! You still have to learn a million more things to handle relationship and a marriage. The day you will be ready, your life will automatically hand you over the best of everything even without asking!!!!! So, if you can’t be with your loved one, don’t blame the destiny or anything, just think that you will get what you deserve But, when the right time will come. Till then, find your flaws and improve yourself ———> that’s what I always do after every failure in life…